be aware

play your words with your heart and mind
sing your words with your dream and reality

Selasa, 21 Agustus 2012

Freud’s Theory in Ronggeng Dukuh Paruk



The controversy of Freud’s psychoanalysis theory directs me to try to apply this theory to one of Indonesian popular novel, Ronggeng Dukuh Paruk. The story in this trilogy novel has many symbol of people unconscious mind which is part of Freud theory on psychoanalysis.
The theory which began in 1890s explains that human’s thought is divided into three bid parts which are id, ego, and superego. These three part of human thought always have an influence to what human do either consciously or un consciously. Take for example the id is what the mind wants, what it likes, and leads the mind to avoid pain. It’s clear that consciously, human has their own will and doesn’t want to get pain. While ego is part of the thought which is realistic and organized, and super ego is part of the thought which has moral compass, religion, and faith. According to Freud, human thought also divided into conscious, something that we realize, and the unconscious one which is something beyond the thought that we might don’t even know or remember.
Freud also argues that sexuality begins since human is in the childhood period. It begins with the oral, like baby is sucking, anal, when a baby poops, and genital which can be active in the certain age and stagnant when the human is still a child.
Since some parts of the story in this novel have a strong connection to the Freud’s interpretation I decided to apply Freudian psychoanalysis to this novel. The novel entitled Ronggeng Dukuh Paruk, which is written by Ahmad Tohari, is actually a trilogy of three novel, Ronggeng Dukuh Paruk, Lintang Kemungkus Dinihari, and Jentera Bianglala. This trilogy chronicled a woman life since she was a child until she become a woman who went crazy at the end.
The main character of this trilogy is Srintil, a girl who lived in a small village, Dukuh Paruk, whom was believed to be born as a ronggeng (erotic dancer). People in the village believed that a ronggeng is naturally born as the indang (spirit of ronggeng) lives her soul. As a ronggeng Srintil become a symbol of pride in Dukuh Paruk, no women were jealous to her, they even felt proud of their husband when he could sleep with the ronggeng. At that time, a guy, called Rasus, felt in love with Srintil. However, a ronggeng was not allowed to get married or even fall in love with anybody. The political issues at that time gave a big influence to the villagers, especially to Srintil who held a performance in a certain party campaign that caused her imprisoned. Srintil kept her love to Rasus, but Rasus who later became a soldier left her for his responsibility of profession. By the end of the story Srintil went insane as she was fooled by a guy from Jakarta, and she thought that the guy would marry her. Rasus came back at the end of the story, as somebody who still took care of her as he also loved Srintil.
In this essay I would like to analyze some part of the story which reflects certain things according to Freudian Psychoanalysis. The most important thing to support the analysis is the background of Rasus’s life. Tohari told the reader that Rasus was raised by his grandmother because his mother had died since he was little (p.32-33). Rasus was a boy who missed the touch of mother, and it leads him to create his own imagination of his mother. In the story Rasus was only fourteen when he began to imagine that his mother was like Srintil, a beautiful girl who was younger than him.
Just like Freud argues that sexuality begins since a human was a child, I could find that Rasus had something missing of his life since he was left by his mother when he was a baby. He missed the sexual relationship between himself and his mother, like the oral stage when a baby starts sucking for milk to his mother breast. As Freud states that there’s a sexual relationship between mother and her son, it’s clearly seen that Rasus missed one part of his life for losing his mother. Unconsciously, when he later grew up, Rasus did certain things that reflect the missing piece of his unconscious mind.
In the first book of the trilogy, there’s a part where Tohari narrates the way Rasus come to Srintil when she was going to take a bath (p.37).  Rasus come to such kind of river, which had such kind of bamboo shower between the stones where the water poured, where the villagers usually took a bath to see Srintil alone. Before he came to see Srintil he had already stolen a papaya to be given to Srintil. However, Srintil refused it and told Rasus that she wanted jeruk keprok (such kind of local oranges which has dark green yellowish rind). This part shows a strong image of Rasus who silently see Srintil, a ronggeng, in the bath, to fulfill his unconscious need of sexual relationship. The novel was originally written in Banyumas language where people called papaya as gandul which laterally means something hanging. The idea is clear that the papaya is symbol of man genital (inspired by Suzana Maria’s idea in the LTA class). The Freudian psychoanalysis could easily define that Rasus had an unconscious desire to Srintil. It absolutely has a connection to the Oedipus complex of Freud where he argues that there’s a certain sexual desire of a son to his mother. In this novel, clearly stated that Rasus also made his own imagery mother trough Srintil, a girl whom he loved, which is the real picture of an Oedipus complex.
The way Srintil refused the papaya by telling Rasus that she wanted some oranges also symbolize an unconscious will of Srintil. Srintil was still eleven (p.12) that means she was still too young to begin her sexual relationship. However, in this novel Srintil had begun to dance such an erotic dancing with anyone told her how to do so. It seems like Srintil sexuality had unconsciously began since she was very young. Srintil refusing the papaya show that she had not ready yet to have sex with anybody although she had already expressed the need of sex by dancing an erotic dancing and flirting to the boys. Tohari also mentioned that Srintil wanted some oranges, it is kind of the contradictory of the papaya. The shape orange was small and rounded, like a little girl breast which start to grow (p.39).
As Rasus once was refused, he kept on trying to get Srintil attention by giving her a keris (traditional Javanese knife). Keris is a symbol of a man, as it is a weapon to show a social rate among the traditional Javanese. Keris usually symbolizes something sacred for the Javanese. Rasus stole the keris from his own house by fooling his grandmother (p.40), just like the papaya which was also stolen. It indicates that Rasus actually didn’t have something to be given to Srintil, but he tried so hard to find anything to be given to Srintil. Rasus covered the keris with his clothes and came to a room where Srintil was taking a nap. He silently put the keris beside Srintil, between Srintil’s hands (p.41). He quietly entered the room and perfectly put the keris, which had a strange shape especially the keris’ handle which looks like the tip of man genital (p.42). It shows that Rasus had a big desire to Srintil, but he was still too young and not able to show it, moreover the desires was part of his unconscious mind which actually the manifest of his losing mother feeling (p.45).
The other side of Srintil and Rasus is the part when they had sex before the tradition of bukak klambu (a competition for any man to win a ronggeng virginity). Srintil actually didn’t want to go to sleep with the guy who won the competition as she wanted Rasus (p.77). So she went out of the house and asked Rasus to have sex with her in the back of the house. At the first Rasus didn’t say anything, but he still did it with Srintil. At that moment, Rasus kept thinking about his mother (p.77). Tohari told the readers that Rasus felt strange to have sex at that time. It is like somebody who really missed something he never felt before.
The indang ronggeng in Srintil soul (p.20) also part of the village dream. It shows that the village of Dukuh Paruk had a faith of supernatural power. The supernatural power belief was unconsciously directed the villagers to think about the same things. Just like the keris (p.41) which is believed as something sacred which might change the atmosphere while Srintil was dancing.
Those parts of Ronggeng Dukuh Paruk are likely showing human’s mind tendency to do certain things, including their desire. The things that might seem like a natural thing might actually reflect somebody unconscious side.

Sabtu, 03 Maret 2012

Do you have the "formula" ?

I wrote this story to share my experience which I got when I was doing my teaching practicum class in SMA 1 Salatiga. I was there since I had to complete my study as a pre-service teacher education at Satya Wacana Christian University. I taught English for the first grade of senior high school with descriptive text as one of the material I had to teach to my students. Before I conducted the teaching practicum I had pass a micro teaching class – it is kind of teaching preparation class – which was English as an international language (EIL) orientation. Beside I also took some classes, included teaching method and material development class, and seminars about EIL.

Driven by my study background, I grew to be an EIL ideology English teacher who thinks that English is an international language and it must be affected by many international issues. One of the issues which bother me is the teaching methodology. I have an opinion that my students should not learn grammar or structure traditionally as it develops only the declarative knowledge of the students. I wanted to teach English to my students, not the science of English. So my goal is to make students able to use English in communication either in speaking, writing, or even reading and listening.

And then in one part of material I taught my students about compound adjective. I didn’t directly stated that I was going to teach them about compound adjective, but I paid attention to some examples of adjective phrases they used in describing people or animals in the previous activity. After the activity I wrote some sentences my students made on the board. These are the sentence I wrote on the white board ; She has blue eyes and It (my student’s dog) eats meet. I wrote them on the board and told my students that these were ordinary sentences people used to describe people or animal. In the next I asked them whether they could change the sentence into other pattern with the same meaning. One of my students (Raka, pseudo name) said one phrases; blue eyed.

I felt like Raka had known compound adjective before, and then I asked him how he could call that phrases to make sure whether he knew the term of compound adjective. He couldn’t answer my question. I thought he forgot the term compound adjective and I just kept going on teaching. I put the phrases of blue eyed into a sentence She is a blue eyed and wrote it exactly under the sentence She has blue eyes. After that I asked my students the sane question for the second sentence, but nobody answer my question. I looked at my students’ face expression; some of them were trying to make some phrases though I didn’t get what the phrases were.

I finally decided to write It is an meat-eating dog exactly under the sentence It eats meat. I kept questioning my students about the differences between the two compound adjective phrases without telling them that these were compound adjective. Another student, Muti (pseudo name), told me that the difference was at the –ing and –ed suffix. To make sure my students understand this language function I asked some of them, especially who sat at the back rows and who didn’t really actively participated in answering my questions, to make any examples which were similar to the sentences on the board. They made these following phrases:
- black haired
- open minded
- well prepared
I paid attention to the phrase well prepared. I loved that phrases, since it showed that my student made a different phrase compare to the example: blue eyed which is a mixture of an adjective and a noun, but well prepared is a mixture of adjective and adjective. Most of my student participated actively by giving many examples of compound adjective.
Here I got a point that my students had their own procedural knowledge about compound adjective since they were able to make and put it into right sentences. I thought it was good for them to learn compound adjective or any other language function unconsciously. After I thought most of my student made their own phrase or sentence with a compound adjective, I told them that they had just made a compound adjective. Some of them looked surprise as they thought they had learned compound adjective before, but they didn’t understand this.
At the end of the lesson I asked them whether any question about the lesson. They were quite for a while; some of them asked me to give more examples. And at the last of the class one of my students, Azam (pseudo name), asked me whether there’s a “formula” to make a compound adjective.
I was surprised by this question. I thought he was one of my students who understood the lesson very well, why did he need any “formula” to make something he had understood? I didn’t really like giving my students such a traditional grammar lesson where I had to explain the structure of a sentence by telling my students which one was the verb or the noun. I wanted my students learned it unconsciously to develop their procedural knowledge since my goal is to make them able to use English, not understand the science of English. Moreover, based on my experience, students, who are good at the grammar declarative knowledge, is not that good at the procedural one or at least not creative in making sentences.
However, I still told my students about the “formula” of compound adjective with further explanation that language is not math. It may have such kind of structure, but it doesn’t mean that we have to follow the rules strictly. And told him about the phrases well cooked and blue eyed his friends made before. Azam’s questions lead me to explain the passive and active meaning of compound adjective.
I thought about many reasons why Azam asked for the “formula” of compound adjective. It brought a lot of question to my mind:
1. Are my students accustomed to learn English with grammar translation method?
2. How long do they learn English with grammar traditional teaching?
3. Why do they always look for a firm “formula” in making any phrases or sentences?
I’m know still in process of researching this case

Selasa, 29 November 2011

*a crazy lill thing

no..no..no..
I'll never sing such kind of a beautiful song
I can't..I can't..I can't sing
no..no..no..
you'll never listen to the song I sing
'cuz boo, yeah, my heart sings the song

can ya feel it inside my heart?
it is something on the way I look at you
it is beating
it is crazy
it is a little thing
is it love?

yeah..yeah...yeah...
my boo, don't pretend that ya don't know
it is too sweet to play the coy
can you feel?
my heart is melted, no word comes out
deep I sing syalalalalala..ouch...

Rabu, 12 Oktober 2011

Wings

It is when the pain seems beautiful in your life


“She says scars are like maps. They tell you where you been.” do you have any scar on your skin? How did you get it? You might get it when you felt down or practiced something. People will easily notice that you had done something so you got the scars. It is a record of your life’s history. It is like the story if Wings which begins with the eye gazing of scars.

It is a story about a girl with the scars on her ankles. The scars that sometimes she hided, but an old woman got a look at the scars and told her a story about other scars she had, a story which is full of deep symbols and lessons of life.
The old woman told the young woman about a little girl who was born with bumps on her ankles, but she grew beautifully as her parents took care of her. The tiny bumps grew with her. It is like the way parents take care of their children. The bumps on the ankles are just like something to control a kid movement. It represents that parents always have rule for their children, the rules will control their children’s movement, but at the same times it looks like something stops the children walking too fast or too far.

At the age of twelve the little girl grew up, to be a strong girl who like adventure and curious about many things. The parents still watched over her, as she was at the beginning of her teenager age where girls usually feel as if they were adult, hard to listen to their parents and want to have their own adventure. Her parents were wise to let her go for her adventure, it shows that they gave her responsibility, the girl still had bumps to band her movement, but we show that her parents let her go event gave her a pair of shoes which means a chance for her to step her feet wherever she wanted.

Everything was fine until she found a handsome sea horse at the age of eighteen. As she grew up to be a young woman, age of eighteen, her bumps turned into wings. She was not a girl anymore; she was a young woman who was considered as a mature human being with a freedom, wings, to make a decision. The age of eighteen is the age of desire, where people are at the top of their spirit, and say, “I’m alive”, everything’s exciting, a little emotional though. And at the age of eighteen she met a handsome sea horse, a handsome guy who had completely different life, but he was so strong to make her fall for him. It was love, something powerful that made her went down to the ocean, leave her big ambition and everything she had, that people had never seen as she flew so high, for the guy who probably an aborigine.
It’s been hours since she played under water with the sea horse, she felt a beauty of love she never knew before. As a young woman who was in love, she saw everything’s beautiful as long as she’s with the guy she loved. They perhaps live together, as the old woman said that they played underwater for hours and share food together, and everything was so beautiful, they felt their desire of love. Until someday a storm blew up, it’s show that problems came to their life, they might fight or her parents didn’t want her to live with the guy. Lightning cracked over their heads, it shows that there’s fighting, it might about her parents were angry with her, but at the same time she and the guy kept their relationship. There were only two choices; flew through the storm to save her life and wings, came back to her parents, but she would be hurt and got a broken heart or sink to the ocean for the sea horse, but lost her wings forever. The young woman was full of desire and deeply in love, she couldn’t think about the consequence of her decision. She decided to lose her wings, get the scars on her ankles which she couldn’t remove forever. And the end of the story the young woman understood that she only followed her desire, the guy left her alone. He’s gone without telling her anything.

Though she understood that love was more than just a desire, she couldn’t deny that she regretted, she was even ashamed because of the scars on her ankles. She tried to cover it all time. She didn’t want anybody noticed her broken heart and the ironic story about her life, the scars. However, the old woman who symbolize a wise woman showed that everybody had scars, means everybody has their sad experience and has something that makes he/she regrets and gets a broken heart, but you don’t have to cover that all time, because trough that pain you will find that life’s beautiful anyway. Who you are today is an ending of your yesterday beautiful story.

Minggu, 11 September 2011

It’s a Beauty of Japan



“Ohayo!” it was a word I heard every morning during two weeks I spent with some Japanese in a student encounter, East Asia Student Encounter (EASE), between Satya Wacana Christian University (SWCU) – Indonesia and Kwansei Gakuin University (KGU) – Japan. Literary ohayo means good morning, in some way people also say ohayo gozaimasu which has same meaning, but different sense. Ohayo gozaimasu sounds formal and shows respectful expression. In fact the word ohayo itself has a deeper meaning than good morning, even though it means good morning, but say ohayo has a deeper sense than greeting. It means, “Good morning, nice to see you this morning, have a nice day.” It feels like some word or even the way they speak shows a deep sense of words. Spending two weeks to stay with Japanese makes me find a beauty of Japanese language.

That was my first experience staying with Japanese, and I didn’t have any background knowledge about Japan, especially the language. Listening to the way some the Japanese talk to the others gives me a clue that there are so many words, which may sound simple and have simple meaning, but has a deep sense and utterance. It looks like a little thing which is so meaningful.
Take for example when I asked one of Japanese participants, Nanako Thsuchikara, how we could introduce ourselves in Japanese she said,

“Hajimeshithe! Watashi wa Nanako desu. Dozoyoroishiku(onegaishimasu)!”

I paid more attention to the last phrase dozoyoroishiku(onegaishimasu). Nanahko explained to me that commonly we only say dozoyoroishiku without onegaishimasu after giving information about ourselves such as name, address, or any else. We may state the complete phrase to make it formal and serious. We may translate dozoyoroishiku(onegaishimasu) into “nice to meet you”, but in fact it has different sense. Dozoyoroishiku(onegaishimasu) means more than “nice to meet you”, it has sense as “nice to meet you, I hope we can cooperate each other”.

From this phrase I found that a relationship or fellowship is something important for the Japanese. I found that during two weeks they tried to make friends with Indonesian participants by keeping themselves do anything in a good manner and showing that they really enjoyed the program. Here showing a positive response is something important for them.

I remember that before the program the leader of Indonesia reminded all the Indonesian participants to say thank you every time we have cooperation, even a very small cooperation, with the Japanese participants. At the first I thought it was funny. How could we say thank you all time? It would sound too much. However, it made me think about Japanese language, is there any word or phrase which carried the sense of thankful except arigato(gozaimasu)?

While talking to another Japanese participant, Haruka Sogabe, she introduced me a new word; otsukaresama(deshita) which means “(bye) that’s all our job today, thank you for the cooperation (see you).” It is interesting that Japanese has a special greeting after doing something together, especially cooperation in doing things like job, presentation, project, etc. I found in some Japanese cartoon, which were popular in Indonesia, this phrase is translated into “maaf sudah merepotkan (sorry to make you in trouble)” which is stated after working together, and I found that there’s a sense of thankful in this phrase.

Japanese language represents a deep beauty of culture, only from the language I could find that they have a culture that make them keep the relationship (relationship oriented) and appreciate to the others.

Rabu, 07 September 2011

* ???

*should I compare u to the summer breeze
-or to the sunshine in the east
just to find a perfect way to say
I love you
it's not about flower
nor wearing shoes after taking a shower
it's about loving u without any reason
starring at u with my closed eyes
as loving u is the only reason to love u

(dhenok.2011)

Jumat, 08 April 2011

"Oh, My Student Cried!"

I was teaching math to a group of second grade elementary students. At the beginning the class was so fun, I let my students; Bila, Shasa, and Liza, asked anything to me and let them sometimes talked each other. They seemed enjoy the class, even they didn’t really pay attention to the explanation I gave. I guessed it’s typically little children. I tried to accommodate what they needed in learning, they wanted to prove that they were able to do some exercise and answer questions. I gave them a chance to make their own note, and explained the material by themselves in front of the class.

In midterm of the class I gave them five numbers of exercises which were exactly the same with the material we had just discussed. They kept talking each other while doing the exercise. I didn’t really pay attention to the topic they were talking about, but I just suddenly knew that Liza cried because Shasa mocked her. Fortunately it’s not a big problem. And then I started paying more attention even to every single word they spook and to the way they did the exercises.
These are what I get:

1.For many times Shasa came to me and asked me the right answer of the exercise. I tried not to answer, I said that she had to think about the right answer by herself, even when she had a right answer. I sometimes give them the clue of the answers or how to answer the question.
2.Liza was a bit different from Shasa, she tried to do the exercises by herself, but she couldn’t answer the two numbers of the exercise in which I use exactly the same shape, but I rotated it, with the example I’d given before. She kept asking whether the pictures were the same.
3.As Shasa did, Bila also kept asking the right answer of very single number. I just gave the same response.

I meant to check their answers after they finished the exercise. I just wanted to measure that they had comprehended the material and gave them further explanation if it were needed. However, they preferred giving me their answers and talking each other while waiting I checked their answer to asking question about anything they didn’t understand. They asked me to grade their exercise. They told me that they just wanted to have a grade and didn’t want to talk about the material anymore. I check their answers one by one, Shasa and Liza got a perfect grade, 100, but I was not sure they had mastered the material. On the other hand Bila just got 40. I didn’t angry to her, I even didn’t cross her wrong answer, I prefer explaining the material once again to her and helped her to write the right answers. However, Bila didn’t want me to explain anything, she suddenly cried. I tried to comfort her, I said this is just an exercise and I didn’t mean anything when she got 40 or 100 the most important was that she understood the material better. Shasa told me that Bila’s mother would be angry to Bila if she got a bad score, she would consider her daughter as a stupid student. I knew it would not work to force her learn the material at that moment. I stopped talking about the material, and gave her three more exercises to Bila. I asked her to do the exercise, I helped her to answer every single question so she got 100.

I found that my students are typically Asian students, furthermore they are Javanese. The main point I got from them that afternoon that they had a high value of correctness, just like Kumaravadivelu wrote in his essay about Promblematizing Cultural Stereotypes in TESOL, that lead them to appreciate the achievement rather than process. I assumed that knowledge for them is just something to be achieved, not to be applied, that’s why they preferred to get a good score to applying the knowledge. Take for example when we discussed math about angle, they were not interested to the example I gave. I gave them any kind of angles that they might find in their daily life, but they asked me just to draw lines on the board and made them into an angle, just like in the book.

Furthermore their parents tend to make them think that a good grade means a good student. As I explained before that Bila cried because she didn’t get a good grade and how Shasa and Liza kept asking for the right answer. They didn’t really care about how to solve the problem, they just though how to get y even couldn’t recognize the same shape when I rotated it. the right answer. It lead them to not have a critical thinking, they are so bookish. The

I’m trying to make my students to be creative and learn everything my themselves, but it’s so hard. They have already curved to be like that. :'(

*de